In A Matter Of Opinion

Ever since we were little, we had a list of choices to make: pb&j or ham and cheese; pig tails or braids; play Barbies or build a fort.  All these decisions were based off of what we truly wanted at the moment.  We chose what we wanted and did what we wanted and enjoyed that.  We didn't care whether or not our neighbor was wearing pig tails or not- we decided our hair and played the day away.

As we grew older, our choices changed.  Hot or cold lunch; to use a straightener or curling iron; to go to the dance with the guy in seventh period or go with your friends.  Where along the way did we lose sight of the decisions we truly wanted and instead, replaced them with the decisions that others wanted for us?

Senior year and even a little of my junior year, I was being nagged with where I wanted to go to school.  Everyone seemed to just need to gush about their school and hope their glory days could somehow influence mine that were to come.  When I voiced that I wanted to be a writer (yes, for a profession) I received invited (and some not) input on what schools had the best program for Creative Writing, what I should consider for my degree that I could "probably find some way to incorporate writing into", even the courageous folk that would give me the half-smile/grimace and inform me that most writers don't make enough money to sustain a normal lifestyle.  (Because, after all, you should pick your passions based on money, right?)

Three years after graduation, I still get the surprised glances when I tell people I chose to nanny and do classes online instead of going to a "real college" and getting a "real job". I then remind them that Creative Writing has been my passion since the age of three and my nannying gig has lasted me these last few years since my high school graduation and I've managed to buy my own car (with cash), move into an apartment with a friend, paying for all my own food, insurance, gas, rent, and utilities ON MY OWN.  Looks like this "real job" is, in fact, a REAL job.

When did we as a culture stop valuing the differing opinions of the individual and start trying to fit us all into the same boring, American mold?  Instead of letting people voice their opinions, desires and decisions then heaping your own opinions, desires and decisions onto that, rejoice in other's uniqueness and passions.  Encourage them down their own path.  If we all had the same desires, goals and objectives in life, we'd be a rather boring and closed-minded America.  Diversity and differing of opinions is what builds a society and allows us all to be the individuals God created and intended for us to be.

End rant.

xo

Monday's Patio Thoughts

Life has been nothing less than chaotic for me the past month.  I won't bore you with the all the details but believe me when I say that God has catapulted me out of my comfort zone more times than I can count and brought me to my knees even more than that.  The one thing that has remained constant, though, is Christ's unfailing love and His sovereign will that has been made clearer to me over this time.

Today I had the afternoon off (can I get an amen?!) so I came home to my apartment (YES I'm finally moved out and am l o v ing the new space) and sat down to watch a Matt Chandler sermon Matt had sent me.  When you have an hour to spare, sit down and watch "Motivation for Obedience" and please tell me you felt as convicted as I did.  Chandler is my go-to for watching sermons, downloading podcasts, you name it.  If you have no idea who I'm talking about, do yourself a favor and download every single one of his podcasts on iTunes.  Thank me later.

The second half of the sermon is what stuck out to me the most, specifically

There are rewards that come with obedience but the primary driver of Christian obedience is the love of God made manifest in the person and work of Jesus Christ, the unwavering forgiveness and delight is what should be driving us.

Now I know for me personally, my daily Bible reading doesn't always come from a heart that realizes the extreme magnitude of Christ's love for me that I simply want to read His word out of obedience and gratitude.  There are days where I read my Bible simply because I know I "have" to; days when I speed read before grabbing my keys and coffee mug before driving off to work.  Chandler's sermon convicted me of not only how I treat my quiet time alone with the Lord every morning, but also how I treat my whole relationship with the One who bore my sins, forgave me of every wrong doing I have done and have yet to do, the only One able to love me with a love so perfect and real.  Knowing all this, how am I still able to chose ulterior motives to "just get through" my quiet times?  How can I know a love so strong and so raw that it loves me in spite of my innumerable flaws and yet chose to have a lukewarm faith that spends time with Him for five minutes before carrying on with my day?

Convicting.

And so now, I challenge myself and any of you poor souls who have made it through this post of my overflowing, convicted heart to reevaluate our motivations for obedience.  If you do so and realize your primary motivation is simply because you know Christ's love and want to return His love to the best of your ability, then you're winning at life and give me your advice... ASAP.  If you're like me and you have secondary motivations that overshadow what the primary motivation should be, let's work together to allow Christ's love to be our primary goal and focus for every aspect of our lives.

xo

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I should probably start by introducing my blog and the thought behind it (lucky for you, this won't take long).  From the overflow of my heart comes from Luke 6:45, which reads, "From the overflow of [the] heart the mouth speaks".  Simple.

I am inspired daily by the blogs I pour over, Instagram feeds I check religiously, people I stand in line with at Starbucks, etc.  Everyone has their own story, their own life, their own dreams and desires and that interests and inspires me with my own story.  But if I'm being honest, my mind stops at inspiration.  I'll stumble across the same picture scanning through Instagram a few days later and remember how inspired I was by it but lacked the motivation to do likewise in my own life and embarrassingly scroll past it as fast as my little thumb can take me.  Having recently turned twenty, I closed out my chapter as a child-teen and entered the scarier, more real chapter.  I'm currently stuck between discovering who I want to be and becoming her.

dis·cov·er disˈkəvər/ (verb) -- find (something or someone) unexpectedly or in the course of a search.

become biˈkəm/ (verb) -- begin to be

For me, the discovering process has been happening over time and through much searching.  Whether in Proverbs 31: discovering the woman I'm supposed to be, on Instagram feeds: being inspired with what others are accomplishing, doing in their daily lives, which in turn pushes me to set my own goals, etc.  This very blog, for example, is one of the steps in my "becoming" journey.  My passion for writing blossomed within me before I can even remember; my mom tells me I carried around a pen and notepad when I was two.  I've started, re-started and deleted too many blogs to count.  I'm hoping this one sticks because then I'll know I'm getting somewhere.

It's one thing to have a friend to tell your goals and life dreams to, but it's another to have potentially the whole world following your step by step journey, and that I think is pretty cool.  But I want to throw one thing out there: I am not "finding myself" or my identity through this blog and the posts that will follow.  I have already found a real and everlasting identity that I solidified in my Lord almost fifteen years ago.  I am a born again believer, saved by the blood of my Savior, daily humbled and thankful because of it.  This blog is about my journey to discovering my life's potential, molding a life of meaning, and becoming the woman I was created to be.  I am taking the next step: moving from simply being inspired by others and knowing where I want my life to go to the act of officially starting to become that.  Instead of being content with simple inspirations, I am going to starting acting on them.  Ready, GO.

My first steps in becoming the me I've been inspired to be:

▹ Spending time daily with my Bible     ▹ Going to the gym REGULARLY     ▹ Being smart about what I eat

▹ Going and doing more with my life -- enjoying life and the creation we've been blessed with

xo